Day 1 of my long vacation,Good Morning Vancouver

It’s delightfully cold today. The furnace did its job last night and it’s nicely cool instead of oppressively freezing today. Ninang said that yesterday was the first time they had sunshine in days, so it’s relatively warmer. Just in time for Lola and I coming in.

The moment I woke up though, I was feeling ravenous. Even though I had a very full dinner of steak, rice, berries, and cookies last night. Luckily, there was already breakfast on the table, courtesy of Yaya Fe, and I ate it with the noisy little doggie of the house running circles round my chair and nipping at my heels. I’ll significantly gain weight during my month-long stay at the rate my appetite has been like, but plenty of my officemates already told me not to worry about it and just chillax. And gain weight, if that’s the natural course of events.

Their little doggie is very cute, but it’s a fierce little barker! I learned quickly enough not to turn my back on it–yesterday, it jumped on my back and left a scratch on my leg! It’s a little bully, that’s what it is. I gave it quite the scolding and now it’s just staring more or less quietly at me.

And now I just finished a giant mug of coffee with liberal helpings of cream and sugar, and a giant cookie. Now I feel like taking a walk, to at least lessen this heavy, stuffed-full feeling.

I do miss my officemates, but not the stresses of the work itself. However, as not to let this four weeks be a waste, I’ll be making the most of each and every single day, and do my best not to think too much about home and work. I’ve been wanting a break like this forever, so I better do it right.

A pocketful of sunshine for these gloomy days

It’s no secret that lately, I’ve been feeling miserable. All other aspects of my life are going terribly, aggravating my writer’s despair, and I feel like I’m steadily sinking in a bottomless pit of depression. And all my negative feelings are plain as day, all over my face, discernible in the lethargic way I carry myself lately. My office friends ask me what’s wrong, and say they miss my smile and laughter.

But more than that, they also try to find ways to cheer me up.

My heart used to skip a beat…

I carry my MP3 player with me at all times because I don’t want to have to see you (with her). I pretend it’s an object of intense interest, that I can’t take my eyes off it, and hear nothing else but the music.

The days that I miss, those were good times indeed…

I miss the times when one can call out to the entire department: “Let’s eat!” and instantly, many would reply “Okay!” or “Wait for me!” When one can grab the hand of anyone in the department and say: “Come with me!” When one can plan a TGI-day and invite everyone in the department.

I’m sure we’re different

Dear Friend M,

You must have been shocked when I cried: “No, we’re different. I’m sure of it.”

But when you said: “We’re the same, I also wanted to be a writer, but I gave it up in high school,” instinct took over me and I wholeheartedly expressed what I believed to be the truth.

Substituting Awesome with Awesome

I moped for a bit after coming to the conclusion that I probably won’t be able to go to the JYJ concerts.

Then I reflected on my plans for this year:

• adventures and clubbing in Bohol and Cebu
• badminton games with the office crew
• practice swimming
• Puerto Prinsesa, Palawan: island-hopping, underground river, beach bumming
• start boxing again
• family outing in Subic
• girls’ wild trip in Hong Kong and Macau
• Vancouver, Tennessee, Mexico — very tentative plans
• climb Mt. Pulag
• chillaxing in Batanes
• South Korea: sea, temple visits, Hallyu pilgrimage, autumn color viewing
• scuba diving certification in Coron

That’s a rather full schedule. Moreover, it will all cost a considerable dent in my funds despite my efforts to fatten the savings account with a thriftier lifestyle. If I go wild chasing after JYJ, I might not be able to do other things on this list now, would I?

So far, my Coron plans are vague, and could very well be scrapped because I don’t have a travel buddy for that yet and no one’s willing to take scuba diving lessons with me because they’re scaredy-cats. Since I can’t go see JYJ, I might as well put the funds that I would have allocated to their concert and my stalking for my scuba diving and get myself a certification. Not quite as squeal-worthy as seeing Kim Jaejoong’s rippling abs live, but exciting in a different way. Girl’s gotta look at the bright side.

 

Better start my research for the scuba-diving plans then.

Sea Dive Resort
Coron Divers

I’d rather live for JYJ than die for JYJ

JYJ is having a concert in Indonesia.

HOMAYGED.

The minute I saw the information I was ready to order a VIP A ticket and book my flight to remarkable Indonesia–until my teammate V reminded me that April 9-10 is our department outing.

Geez. I was really excited about the department outing, especially since we really need to have some quality time with the new hires, and I’m always up for travel. But watching JYJ is one of my big goals for the year. So much so that I made it a New Year’s resolution. I was never able to watch the TVXQ concerts in South East Asia, because I was a college student without my own money and paranoid parents back then. I should at least be able to watch JYJ now.

But I can’t watch them. Not in Indonesia, at least.

I could go to the Thailand concerts. But I have to admit… I’m scurrrrrrred. I just have the feeling that the Thailand concerts will be crazier since those are the ones most people will probably go to. I want to crazy fangirl party at a JYJ concert, but I… dunwannadie. @_@

I mean, my few other experiences with K-pop lives didn’t exactly go well before. It’s really difficult for a short person to battle mass hysteria. I wouldn’t try that alone.

Oh JYJ, I can live for you, but I won’t die for you. I guess Fate is keeping me apart from JYJ. Knowing that I’ll jump on Jaejoong and freak the wits out of him given a half-chance.

Post-Valentine’s resolution to get over the one-way crush

 

It stopped getting fun, this crush, or admiration, or almost balanced commensalism… whatever this is. Though it’s really supposed to be a casual friendship with one party so much more invested.

Last Valentine’s Day I didn’t even know you. But this Valentine’s Day, I went to great lengths just to avoid seeing you with that girl. Now that this Valentine’s Day passed by with me hanging on to these unresolved, unrequited, unspoken feelings… I get to thinking, what if I reach one year still stuck with these useless feelings?

A birthday is the first of a 365-day journey… enjoy every single step of the trip

In a couple of hours, it will be my birthday.

The thought makes me tingle with excitement right to the tips of my fingers, the yipee-Happy-Birthday-to-me! instinct from childhood kicking in. My adult self tries to make the child in me calm down. Come on, don’t get so worked up about it–in the grand scheme of things, it’s just another day. If you expect too much… you’ll only be disappointed.

Sometimes, I wish people didn’t put so much in store with birthdays.

If there’s a vacancy out there for “surprise maker” I think I’ll do a good job of it. For birthday celebrations in the office, we usually try to think of a way to surprise the celebrant. My crazy ideas, however, are out of the question due to time constraints, small budgets, and the (un)willingness of other people to go all out. I’d do very well thinking up “professional” surprises.

That crazy quirk of mine makes a lot of would-be surprises seem pretty normal to me though, deflating the bubble of anticipation.

What will February 12, 2011 bring?

Right now, at least I’m sure that I’ll spend this year’s first birthday celebration with the Breakfast Club. Drinks and talk and fun and then breakfast.

P.S. One of my birthday wishes this year is to do a birthday countdown next year with somebody that I’ll also spend the tomorrow of my birthday’s tomorrow with. =)

This makes me think that blind dates are really a bad idea…

 

Here in the Philippines, girls like me are called NBSB. No Boyfriend Since Birth. This makes people think that I’m either a man-hating, anti-romance feminist, or else boyfriend-desperate. However, I’m pretty normal. (At least, in the romance attitude scale–I wouldn’t claim to be regular in all aspects and I’ve been called “eccentric” and “quirky” numerous times in my life.)

Like many other single girls, I have my highs and my lows. At times I’m giddy and high on the glory of singlehood–there are so many things that are this-much-more-fun because I’m single. Who needs guys? My life is awesome the way it is. Of course, there are also times that I lament over my solo status–I wish to love and be loved, and bask in love’s springtime. Why am I single, I’m pretty, smart, cheerful and I have a good job. Or is there actually something wrong with me?

So there are times when I think that maybe I should go ahead and take up my dentist/family friend on her offer to matchmake me with a blind date.