It’s no secret that lately, I’ve been feeling miserable. All other aspects of my life are going terribly, aggravating my writer’s despair, and I feel like I’m steadily sinking in a bottomless pit of depression. And all my negative feelings are plain as day, all over my face, discernible in the lethargic way I carry myself lately. My office friends ask me what’s wrong, and say they miss my smile and laughter.
But more than that, they also try to find ways to cheer me up.
I carry my MP3 player with me at all times because I don’t want to have to see you (with her). I pretend it’s an object of intense interest, that I can’t take my eyes off it, and hear nothing else but the music.
I miss the times when one can call out to the entire department: “Let’s eat!” and instantly, many would reply “Okay!” or “Wait for me!” When one can grab the hand of anyone in the department and say: “Come with me!” When one can plan a TGI-day and invite everyone in the department.
Dear Friend M,
You must have been shocked when I cried: “No, we’re different. I’m sure of it.”
But when you said: “We’re the same, I also wanted to be a writer, but I gave it up in high school,” instinct took over me and I wholeheartedly expressed what I believed to be the truth.
I moped for a bit after coming to the conclusion that I probably won’t be able to go to the JYJ concerts.
Then I reflected on my plans for this year:
- adventures and clubbing in Bohol and Cebu
- badminton games with the office crew
- practice swimming
- Puerto Prinsesa, Palawan: island-hopping, underground river, beach bumming
- start boxing again
- family outing in Subic
- girls’ wild trip in Hong Kong and Macau
- Vancouver, Tennessee, Mexico — very tentative plans
- climb Mt. Pulag
- chillaxing in Batanes
- South Korea: sea, temple visits, Hallyu pilgrimage, autumn color viewing
- scuba diving certification in Coron
That’s a rather full schedule. Moreover, it will all cost a considerable dent in my funds despite my efforts to fatten the savings account with a thriftier lifestyle. If I go wild chasing after JYJ, I might not be able to do other things on this list now, would I?
So far, my Coron plans are vague, and could very well be scrapped because I don’t have a travel buddy for that yet and no one’s willing to take scuba diving lessons with me
because they’re scaredy-cats. Since I can’t go see JYJ, I might as well put the funds that I would have allocated to their concert and my stalking for my scuba diving and get myself a certification. Not quite as squeal-worthy as seeing Kim Jaejoong’s rippling abs live, but exciting in a different way. Girl’s gotta look at the bright side.
Better start my research for the scuba-diving plans then.
Sea Dive Resort
JYJ is having a concert in Indonesia.
The minute I saw the information I was ready to order a VIP A ticket and book my flight to remarkable Indonesia–until my teammate V reminded me that April 9-10 is our department outing.
Geez. I was really excited about the department outing, especially since we really need to have some quality time with the new hires, and I’m always up for travel. But watching JYJ is one of my big goals for the year. So much so that I made it a New Year’s resolution. I was never able to watch the TVXQ concerts in South East Asia, because I was a college student without my own money and paranoid parents back then. I should at least be able to watch JYJ now.
But I can’t watch them. Not in Indonesia, at least.
I could go to the Thailand concerts. But I have to admit… I’m scurrrrrrred. I just have the feeling that the Thailand concerts will be crazier since those are the ones most people will probably go to. I want to crazy fangirl party at a JYJ concert, but I… dunwannadie. @_@
I mean, my few other experiences with K-pop lives didn’t exactly go well before. It’s really difficult for a short person to battle mass hysteria. I wouldn’t try that alone.
Oh JYJ, I can live for you, but I won’t die for you. I guess Fate is keeping me apart from JYJ.
Knowing that I’ll jump on Jaejoong and freak the wits out of him given a half-chance.