Writing and rewriting my own tales day by day

Archive for the ‘personal crisis’ Category

A pocketful of sunshine for these gloomy days

It’s no secret that lately, I’ve been feeling miserable. All other aspects of my life are going terribly, aggravating my writer’s despair, and I feel like I’m steadily sinking in a bottomless pit of depression. And all my negative feelings are plain as day, all over my face, discernible in the lethargic way I carry myself lately. My office friends ask me what’s wrong, and say they miss my smile and laughter.

But more than that, they also try to find ways to cheer me up.

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My heart used to skip a beat…

I carry my MP3 player with me at all times because I don’t want to have to see you (with her). I pretend it’s an object of intense interest, that I can’t take my eyes off it, and hear nothing else but the music.

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I’m sure we’re different

Dear Friend M,

You must have been shocked when I cried: “No, we’re different. I’m sure of it.”

But when you said: “We’re the same, I also wanted to be a writer, but I gave it up in high school,” instinct took over me and I wholeheartedly expressed what I believed to be the truth.

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I’d rather live for JYJ than die for JYJ

JYJ is having a concert in Indonesia.

HOMAYGED.

The minute I saw the information I was ready to order a VIP A ticket and book my flight to remarkable Indonesia–until my teammate V reminded me that April 9-10 is our department outing.

Geez. I was really excited about the department outing, especially since we really need to have some quality time with the new hires, and I’m always up for travel. But watching JYJ is one of my big goals for the year. So much so that I made it a New Year’s resolution. I was never able to watch the TVXQ concerts in South East Asia, because I was a college student without my own money and paranoid parents back then. I should at least be able to watch JYJ now.

But I can’t watch them. Not in Indonesia, at least.

I could go to the Thailand concerts. But I have to admit… I’m scurrrrrrred. I just have the feeling that the Thailand concerts will be crazier since those are the ones most people will probably go to. I want to crazy fangirl party at a JYJ concert, but I… dunwannadie. @_@

I mean, my few other experiences with K-pop lives didn’t exactly go well before. It’s really difficult for a short person to battle mass hysteria. I wouldn’t try that alone.

Oh JYJ, I can live for you, but I won’t die for you. I guess Fate is keeping me apart from JYJ. Knowing that I’ll jump on Jaejoong and freak the wits out of him given a half-chance.